Tuesday, October 25, 2011

There Is A Home For The Homeless After All

The homeless situation in Melbourne and indeed all around the world is increasingly getting out of hand and this is largely because we’ve been going about things all wrong.
As the poor unwashed souls line the streets, we do everything in our power to avert our gaze from their overcast eyes. It is easier to feign apathy than to actually act on any deep seated inclination to give to someone less fortunate. Of course it isn’t as simple as that, after all it is difficult to know where to start with these unfortunate people. Many of them have mental issues and struggle to create any stability and with the government trying just as hard as we do to avoid any involvement there isn’t a lot of hope for them.
Another major issue that goes hand in hand with mental illness is the prevalent use of drugs within the street community. Drugs enable the under privileged to get through the day and forget the lack of love and respect they receive because of their situation. Instead of walking past those dirty faces who have been ignored by our system, stop and reach into your heart (or for a more effective outcome, your wallet) and give to these poor people because it will eventually come back to you. ‘But maybe instead of food they might spend my money on drugs’ I hear you say; well that’s the beauty of it all. If they spend it on food then all the better, you’ve done something good for once in your lives and maybe some karmic force will give back to you. If instead they spend it on drugs then karma can go fuck itself, because you have successfully become a business man. By giving the homeless money for drugs you have effectively driven down the price of drugs for yourself. Its business 101 folks.
The price of drugs these days are getting higher as drug laws become more stringent, so who better to fly under the governmental radar than the homeless? Everybody wins. The homeless get the drugs they desperately need to hide the despair they feel at the hands of society and we get those same drugs but at a much lower price than we’re used to. ‘But what about the moral implications’ I hear you say (although such comments could stem from drug induced psychosis,) well as these ‘people’ are homeless they are not effectively counted on the national census and as thus aren’t actually people. This in turn voids any moral implications because what’s not hurting people isn’t hurting morality. You can tear off the limbs of a shrub with your teeth, you can shoot a duck in the middle of breeding season, you can garnish a bull’s penis with chilli on Masterchef but try any of these things on ‘people’ out on the street and you get told off for being ‘depraved’ and ‘one of the most creatively violent people I’ve ever seen.’ But not being human doesn’t mean they can’t benefit humanity.
It’d be a waste to have such a number of census-less critters crying out in agony at their incredible woe without trying to help them re-enter society from the back door. It’s easy enough to send them out into the night risking life and limb (or lack thereof for many of them) to lower drugs prices for you because let’s face it; they’d prefer prison over their squalid existence. The real problem lies in trying to find street dwellers that have the same taste in illicit narcotics as you. The street is a much different situation than at say a footy break up or a mate’s birthday or even a baby shower, it’s difficult to predict whose taking or holding what.
If you were after some weed it used to be as simple as looking for the smelly guy with the dreadlocks. Unfortunately such symbols of drugs and amateur folk nights have been blurred on the streets and one could quite easily think there is a Rastafari revolution every time they pop down Swanston st. So it’s important shop around, get to know the market, don’t be shy about checking your ‘stocks’ arms before you invest any money in this enterprise because at the end of the day you’re doing the community a service. And for that, you deserve a reward.

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